Dusty Baker in charge

This was my 1,000 win, started 11 years ago with a win against the Cardinals, going for 2,000. I asked Dickie a couple of weeks ago, How many wins do I have? He said that he will get back to me, because he has trouble with adding numbers, yesterday he told me that I needed one more. It was an easy win, with Maddux pitching like he does and he also got two hits and a RBI. It sure is easy to manage with him on the mound. Had to go out and have some fun after that. I love this French town. Dickie and I headed out from our hotel and to Sainte-Catherine street, sorry I don't speak French except to Farnsworth. Here's a nice lady that I enjoyed the evening with, that blonde wig really turns me on. Not Dickie's kind of woman.




I hooked up with her at Cabaret du Sex Appeal club at 381 St Catherine. Lap dances are only $10 Canadian, very reasonable. Dick had to rent a car, I don' know why. But Damn, if you going to rent a car, you might as well get a limo or something, right. This is what Dickie got:



How the hell can I fit me and my new lady into this thing? I ended up just taking a cab back to the hotel, it's only three blocks. Dick found his kind of woman, even with that stupid car.



Dick is into some strange things, that I do not approved of, but he is a hella bench coach.
OK, let's get Prior a win tonight. Let us sweep, can't get a easier team to play.

We arrived last night about 9pm and got to our rooms about 11pm. That was one quiet plane ride, the team is down again. I can only hope the the French Canadians can cheer us up. I'll miss this town, but not this horrible stadium, the only turf field remaining in the NL. Here is a picture from the outside with the high umbrella stand.


Looks like a flying saucer, like soldier field. The inside is even more ugly.





What is that? Even the Canadians standing next to it are scared. And they wonder why people don't show up for the games here. Yes, Dick and I will be out tonight, watch out Montreal, Dusty is out and ready for action.

We were bound to lose a game or two, just hope we don't get into this Cubs Funk. You know were we can't seem to get anything right, errors, bad pitching and so call excuses. Don't blame the weather, umpires or the other team cheating ways, just go out and win. Carlos gave un four runs in the first inning and we could not get ahead of that, it was a stupid error. We practice that play over hundred times in spring training, you have to catch the ball. Stop show boating and hustle. Now let's get out there today and kick some ass. The family is in town this home stand, so no late nights with Dick, but tomorrow we will be out with those fine Montreal strippers and hookers.



Think we will hit this place. Let's win today so that we can have a good time in Montreal.

Our pitching is falling apart, Woody did not have it yesterday. He has been inconsistent this year, he has to get his mind back into the game. Maybe I'll have Carlos show him how its done. Carlos has been my best pitcher and he was my number 4 starter. I'm almost ready to give up on Farnsworth, I don't know why he insists in throwing slow stuff, stay with your 99mph fastball kid.
Maybe Jim can get a trade for Farnsworth, we need a closer bad. Our game is today at 3pm, gives me a couple more hours to keep Carlos happy, I got some Oreos cookies and chocolate milk for him, that makes Carlos happy. Carlos has been taking batting practice every day, he has been bunting a lot. No pictures today.




I used to think that I would hunt these, but now I am a Cubs, I'll just stay with fish and birds.
bye.

When the batters hit, it does not matter about the pitching. I'll even let Farnsworth pitch in the 9th. Did you see is new haircut?



We got 10 back to back HR's this year so far. Of course we have not face any real tough pitching lately, that helps. We have a four game series with the Astros, so it will be hard to sweep them for back-to-back sweeps. We got Woody going on the mound today against Lee Harvey Oswalt.
Here is his picture after the last game against us after he hit Barrett:




I always like this military picture, that boy don't look right.



We will take him down today, trust me on this. We have Jack Ruby Jr. sitting behind the Astros dug out with a Colt Snub Nose 38, not a very good hunting weapon but very good at say 6 feet.
We got this game covered, all we need now it a pink pill box hat that will fit Dick Pole.
This is the only one I could fine that would fit Dick.



Should be an interesting day, see ya at the game, right.

Won the last game with the Brewers this year, sweep them.



Bring on the Astros. I want our September record to be better then last years. I want to win the wild card easy with weeks remaining to the season. I need a closer, Latroy blew an easy win for Maddux again. Latroy got the win, which he did not deserve. Thanks for Correy's hot bat, he is turning into a good lead-off man. Dick and I went out to Rush street after the game and drank some Jagermeister in honor to our German friends in Milwaukee. Damn that stuff hits hard after a bottle or two.



We stay up until 3am with these ladies, but they drank us under the table. We all had a good time, but these ladies were to young for Dick.
Let's keep the win streak alive today.

We are streaking now baby, of course playing the last place Brewers makes it easy.



Not that kind of streaking..... Win streak. Home Runs a plenty, Alou (2), Ramerez, Lee (Granny).
Clement didn't know what to do with all that run support and was trying to blow it in the 4th, but came back strong. He had a no hitter after 3 innings and this idiot:



was talking about it already, gimme a f**king break, what a jerk. I know that my buddy Ronnie would not bring that up so early.



Lets see if you can sweep today, think I'll keep the same line up. Peace.

Another easy win, they are easy when we hit and get runs. We won without hitting a HR, this does not happen to often. Carlos went into the 7th with a no hitter, but lost it and had to be relieved. Those two idiots in the TV booth kept bringing up the no hitter by the 5th inning, jinxing it.



Nomar has a wrist injury now, no wonder why they called him Mr. Glass in the minor leagues. Here is a picture is Norma thinking about what to do after this season, should he sign with the Cubs or go to his native land in California.
I found this picture of MR. and Mrs. Nomar:



The Brewers have lost six in a row, so they are due to break out of their current slump soon. They didn't bring any kegs with them, so no celebrations. I've been staying home at night and not hitting the town with Dick, have to keep my mind on winning the wild card spot. So see you at the game tonight.

Wrigley is falling down, time to rebuild it. Maybe I can get a bigger office out of it with a little private room with a bed in it. The Brewers are in town, I hope they bring all their kegs of Miller with them. We are still half game out of the wild card hunt, with my old team. If the Giants stay close, I might have to pull out my Barry Bonds steroid evidence. We are scoring big again, the hitting is coming around and we are starting to win. Of course we are playing crap teams, which helps. Not much to say today, family is in town so no late night roaming, just practice my coyote calls.



Wrigley Field when it was still in one piece, about 30 years young and I was still in diapers.
Time to make out my line up card, so far I have used over 80 different line ups.

One of those games, after last night game where we got 6 HR, tonight we got none. Our record in games without HR's is like 2-15. We did make a good comeback with Barrett being the big hero by hitting a triple after faking a bunt. But LaTroy good not hold them in the 9th and with a bone head play at third by Macias, we lost in the bottom of the 9th. God Damn I hate games like that. Now I don't feel like going out tonight and hanging with strippers. I think I need a little rest, after all I am 55 years old. After last night with Dick and I staying out all night with about ten strippers, they love it when you tell them your a sports star. We don't even have to pay them.



These ladies will just have to wait.

Here is a picture of Latroy with his father, he sure does not look like him.



I sure miss that big polish dude from New Jersey.
Time for a bottle of Old Grand Dad. Day game tomorrow, got to take it easy.

Maddux almost blew it in the first inning, but he hung in there and we got some big HR's from Lee, Ramirez and Sammy. Maybe Sammy is starting to get going again, I hope so. I'm in Houston today, maybe get some fishing in on the gulf, then tonight go to some strip clubs with Dick. Houston and Texas has many strip joints. I don't know why, since this is a bible belt state and the so call home of G.W. Bush. I guess they have to make up for all that god stuff with a little sinning so they can justify their lives. I've seen them passing out bibles in the men's room at the strip clubs. They also have some great steaks down here, meat, women, beer and fishing, it's going to be a nice weekend. If only the Cubs can win 2 out of 3 from the stros.



This is my favorite, me and Bagwell hit this club every time I'm in town. Bags is good with the ladies, they like his billy goat beard.




Here is the old Astros uniform top from the late 70's early 80's. The buttugly thing that made me laughed whenever I played them when I was on the Dodgers.
I off to go fishing and then heading for the Enron park.

Well our pitching did not hold up our three run lead, but we won in extra innings, thanks to Corey's homerun. Cubs 6 - Brew Crew 5.
I got a call Tuesday night from my wife about Sammy trying to call me several times. I guess Sammy does not know that Dick and I have been enjoying the free beer in the clubhouse. So I called Sammy at 1am to see what's up with the big Dominican. Sammy wanted to tell me that it was OK with him that I can put him lower in the line up. Gee thanks Sammy, but I already had him batting fifth tonight. He said that he did not want me to feel the pressure of keeping him in the 3 or 4 spot. Sammy is a team playa. Dick was cracking up when he found out what Sammy was talking about. I told Sammy how big of him to offer and what a great human being he was, all the while making faces at Dick. I think I'll bat Sammy 8th today, lets see how he takes that. He is due for a big break out day, but today is not it. Since he stop taking Steroids, his production has been down, just like his buddy Jason Giambi. I hated that stupid Pepsi spot with him and Jason on the north pole looking for their "Long Balls".



After Steroids



Before.

I should find pitcures of Dick Pole before and after a keg. Here he is in the 80's.




Today he looks like this:



Well lets see if we can win two in a row. Peace out baby.

it's god damn frustrating. After the 7th inning, I just gave my line up card to Dick Pole and went to the club house to down a couple of millers. The best benefit of playing in Milwaukee is getting kegs of Miller in the clubhouse, the Brewers know how to treat it's visitors, get them drunk before the game. In Wrigley, we supply the visitors with a free Tribune, thank you cheap asses. Why can't we hit, this Santos pitcher is a crap pitcher, mostly minor league, but we can't hit him. Yeah, so what Sammy got a HR in the second inning, with the bases empty. His next at bat the bases were loaded and what did he do? You know what Mr. Strike out did. It's frustrating to see us make mistakes. It's frustrating to see them get two-out base hits.
Dick and I stayed in the club house until 1am drinking kegs of miller, no night life here in Milwaukee. Unless you are into old German chicks eating Brats, stay away.



Brewer 3 - Sammy 1

We go at it again tonight, I don't even think I'll watch the whole game again tonight. The clubhouse is nice, with all the channels on cable. I like that outdoor channel with lots of hunting and fishing.





I'll try to get my buddy Al to come to Milwaukee and have some fun in the clubhouse during the game tonight.
Peace.

I don't know about the rest of the team, but I sure can use this day off. The bullpen is Bullsh*t, but I don't know if a off day will work. Farnsworth has got his head so far up his ass he does not know where the f**king strike zone is. Prior pitch well enough to get a win, but when you leave before the 8th inning, you know you will not get a win. They gave Maddux his own flag with the number 300 to be raised above the stands where it can not be seen, good move Cubs. I wonder if they even gave him a free one year subscription to the Tribune, those cheap ass corporate idiots. This is the Tribune Executive that counts the money and repair the computers.



What can I do, I'm just the manager. I got at least another year before those cheap ass bastards fire my sorry ass. At least Dick and I went out last night and had a good time. Here is a picture of some of the fine ladies that we ran into and invited up to our room for some fun.




We sure had a good time. I got another night plan with these ladies, since we are playing in Milwaukee. I got to get my mind off that lousy team of ours.
Later, gator.

Cubs 2 - LA 0.

It was all Wood yesterday, I'm glad I didn't pull him out in the 8th with bases loaded and two outs. He got his strike outs this game, slider was working great. We need to keep going, time is running out this season, got to string together some wins.



I'm trying to convince Kerry to change his name to Dick, so he would be called Dick Wood, he's not going to do it. Got Prior on the mound today, I want to see him back to his old form and get a win. Without our pitching, we are nothing, have to get Larry to start pushing these young pitchers to make them want to win. I expect a big game today from Sammy, it's time for him to step it up a notch or else it's time to trade him back to the White Sox.
Didn't go out last night, Dick didn't feel like it after his She-Male incident. He'll get over it.
Peace out.

No 301 for Maddux, we stayed close until the last inning, no relief pitching. What's a manager to do? I'll just have to sit in the dugout sucking on my toothpicks, drinking coffee.





To bad I can't donate some of our players to the Olympics, get rid of the stink in the clubhouse.

Dick Pole and I tried to take Wendell Kim out with us for the late night action last night, big mistake. The chicks do not like short old Koreans, especially the ladies of color. We struck out, even the hookers would not go with us. No more Wendell, but we do feel sorry for the little fellow.




Going to get drunk tonight, please stay away from me if you happen to see me, I may get ugly.
Peace out.

Carlos pitch a great game, seems like a day off from his suspension help, also the cool weather made him last longer. Although, being from South America, he can pitch just as well in the real hot humid weather. Corey had a good game last night, home run and stolen second base. I don't know why he tried to steal third base because he got a real sh*ty lead and was dead before he could slide. I'm just glad that he did do this again:




Cubs 5 - Padres 1
Day game today, so I may have to rest Alou. We play good in the day time, but I can't stay out late with Dick Pole like I do after a night game. So we just bring up some hookers to my place so I can get to bed early.
Note: There have been some complaints about my spelling and grammar. I am not a college boy, I never completed one year of college and I went to public High School in Riverside CA. I am not very educated with words and letters, but I do know life. I having Mark Prior help me learn more about grammar, he did get his college degree from USC. Plus my spell check does not work good with blogger using my Apple IBook.
This is my 11th grade English teacher.


Oh, yea, I did her. I love those glasses, to bad I didn't pay attention in class. I wonder what happen to her? She is a Dodger fan. OK, got to go and make out the line-up card.

What can I do? Five homeruns and we lose, usually 5 runs will be good enough for a win with our pitching staff. Prior did not have anything last night, the second bad start in a row. Maybe he is not as healthy as we think he his. STOP WALKING BATTERS, I rather have him hit the batter instead of a walk, then the batter is a little sore for the rest of the game. Do I keep sending Prior out to pitch every 5 games or sit him down for a game?



Sammy was very happy he hit one solo HR last night, but that was his only hit. I think he is standing about a inch closer to the plate, is he listening to the Sarge? I needed a drink after that game, so me and Dick went to Rush Street for some fun. I don't know why we didn't get notice, people don't look at us when we are wearing our disco outfits. Dick is a very good dancer, me I can't shake it at all. Here is a picture of a chick that Dick picked up last night, well when they got to his hotel room, it turns our that she was a he. HA HA, you should of saw the look on Dick's face. He did him anyway, you know Dick.



Well got to get ready for the game tonight, see ya all at Wrigley. Peace.

Took the red eye back to O'Hare, it sure was a quiet flight. Maybe Wrigley Field with the crumbling concrete will cheer them up or our rather large clubhouse. Today is an off day and I don't have a practice schedule. It will give Nomar some time to help his tendon. I don't know what will help Sammy, maybe a fast ball in the head. The Tribune company are not getting their money out of that Dominican. Good news is that we are still two games up in the wild card race!
Don't know what I'll do with my day off, maybe I should of stayed in the bay area one more day. Can't bring my hunting rifles here in Chicago because the Mayor will not give me a permit for it, who ever heard of a permit for a shotgun, damn liberal democrat's.



Opps, not that guy above, but the asshole below. Well I guess they were both A-Holes.



Yup, the guy on the right. Anti-gun F**ker.
That's it today, maybe I just chill with Dick Pole today and head down to Rush Street, not named after Glendon, but more fun.

Mad dog did it, number 300 at age 38 is one of the youngest to reach that milestone. All he wanted to do after the win is to have a beer without any celebrations, my kind of man. Can't beat a cold one, a good hunting dog, family and maybe some hookers.




We will be on national TV tonight, ESPN sunday night game of the week, let's hope we show the country that we can win. Don't know what to do with Sammy, he does not listen to me or Dick Pole. I think that I will sit him down and let him think about his future in a Cubs uniform.
Well I got most of the day to spend time with the family, but I can't wait until hunting season. Maybe this year I'll make a trip to South Dakota to shoot some cocks.



OK, that's it for today, see ya tomorrow, right.

It is always a nice feeling to get a sweep on the road.



Prior is getting back into his groove, he pitch his best game this year. Wood and Maddux are back to the shape that we want during the last couple months of the season. Calos and Clement are starting to loose their control, I may have to give them a day off and put in Rush to keep him sharp. I'm home now, typing on my nice HP Pavilion ze4800, which I got free for doing a radio promo for HP. I get all kinds of stuff just for doing commercials, Chevy truck, free Subway, Square D boxer shorts, and Tax software. I love being famous, the stuff people willing to pay me to do just for me to mention their product, I love America. Except for the IRS. Got a night game tonight, so I have some quality family time. I''m teaching Darren how to bunt better then Corey Patterson.



It's in my video, for $29.99, better then Fred McGriff's crap.
OK, got to go, invited Carlos over to the house and we are going to watch cartoons.
Peace out, baby.

I like "come from behind" wins, it charges the whole team up and keeps us motivated to win even more. I'll keep the same line up card as the last two nights, have not decided on second base yet. I wish I could go fishing here in Colorado before we leave town, but tonight we'll be heading to San Francisco. That's my home, were my family are, so no hookers on this trip. Darren will be so happy to see his old man, his mother better not be sleeping with Barry again.
This is where I fished the last trip here:


Good eating fish, sometimes I pay a pro to fish for me, that way it looks like I know what I am doing.
Here is that big glove in Left field at Pac Bell Park, errr, I mean, it's now called SBC Park, right.



I think the White Sox should use this to help their awful defense, their shortstop stinks. Jose you really suck.
I got to get out on the field now and supervise the players, to make sure Sammy does not start picking on Nomar, he is so jealous of other superstars.
Peace.

We did good last night, got some good hitting and pitching. Most of the action was in the first couple of innings and it made my job easy. I could hit a ball out in Denver even if I used my toothpick. Woody made mistakes early but managed to straighten himself out, Dick Pole likes that. Then he enjoyed a little guitar playing after the game, sounds better then Sammy's damn Salsa music.



Maybe we should start a Cubs band and I can manage in the off season. Since I'm in Coor's country, I had some silver bullets after the game, it's the only beer in the clubhouse, besides Molsen.
Let's keep rolling.

Maddux ran out of gas, to bad if he stay in one more inning he would of got 300. NOMAR got a RBI hit and some good glove action. Very exciting day. it was so hot that Sammy had to come out of the game to cool down. He spending to much time in the A/C, he should go back to his roots in Dominica and learn how to sweat again, maybe the White Sox, pepsi guy slip him another hot taco.
Here is what Nomar looks like in the locker room:



What is with that Louisville slugger, this won't do in my club house. Day off tomorrow, time to go fishing with Darren and have some cold Colt Malt liquor.