Dusty Baker in charge

So long

2006-10-03T06:57:00.000-07:00

I would like the thank the Cub fan who supported me during the last four years. I'll be back, oh no, not as a Cub. Neifi says that there might be an opening as the bullpen coach in Detroit. I would make a great club house man, make sure that the beer is cold after the game. I left a note for the next manager and some magic Dusty pixie dust in the desk.
It's time to hunt and fish the rest of my life.
Peace.

Dog Days

2006-09-07T12:39:00.000-07:00

Why do they call summer the dog days? I think September should be the dog days because I know this is the last month I will wear the Cub uniform. I don't know what to do with all these young ball players, without Neifi to help me out, I am lost. Soon it will be hunting season and me and my dog will be out in the fields. I'll be back to baseball next spring, maybe I can get a job as a bullpen coach, don't know if any team will want me as a manager after the Cubs ruin me because I'm a Black man.
Note to next Cubs manager, keep D-Lee in the line up on his birthday.

So long Neifi

2006-08-22T06:13:00.000-07:00

I'm going to miss his big ass, the Tigers got one hella ballplayer. Who is going to be my house boy now, Neifi did everything I ask him to do. What am I going to do? Freddie do you want to be my house boy?

RIP Neifi

Hello Freddie.
Freddie do you cook and make fishing lures?

Dusty says Hi

2006-08-03T07:14:00.000-07:00

This is Neifi writing here, Dusty's Apple Ibook does not work anymore, he is in the process of finding anther computer, any suggestions? Dusty told me to tell you that he is not interested in writing much anymore and that I should fill in for him. I like to take orders from Dusty, I too would like to be a manager. Next time Dusty gets kick out of a game, I will be in charge not Dickie. Did everyone see my great plays at second base, I like second base. I am teaching Ronnie Cedeno on how to play second base, but he is a shortstop. I don't think he likes it but that OK, I will be happy to play second base the rest of the season. We got a double header today because of the rain out last night, I like to play two just like Ernie. I will eat much between the games to keep my belly and butt huge because without those assets, I am just another Dominican playing baseball. Time to clean up Dusty's office and baby sit Darren. See you at the game.

I'm still here

2006-07-14T06:06:00.000-07:00

I was looking forward to the rest of the summer off, but NOOOO the Tribune decided to let me blow in the wind for the rest of the season. I enjoyed the All Star break even though Carlos almost broke it elbow by the Sox third base coach. Oh Yea, that whinny Prior is hurt again, what a little baby, what ever happen to playing hurt.
Get over it Cubs fans, the Cubs will suck this year and there is nothing ol' Dusty can do about it, so get off my back.

Is this the End?

2006-07-05T05:43:00.000-07:00

The end is near.....
This is the End.....

Jim Hendry said he will make some major decisions during the all star break about the future of the Cubs.

Come on Jimbo, it's not my fault the team sucks, you give me all these rookies. I need more horses like Neifi. How about trading for some old time wash up players and get rid of these youngin's.
This is not the end of Dusty, I will be back. Better, smarter.

Fishing the 10,000 lakes

2006-06-23T06:29:00.000-07:00

I was fishing in Minnesota lakes all day yesterday, damn that's good fishing. Walleyes, Muskies, and northern pike. Went on Pelican lake with some locals, they sure can fish. Maybe the Twins needs a new manager or even a bench coach. Yeah, a bench coach would work for me, I can do Dickies job and still fish every day.

There is so many fish up here they almost jump onto the boat.

Look at this one!

Oh yeah, damn I got to got to the hump dome and try to manage tonight, well I still have time to get to the mall of America and fish there.

Henry the Injun hunter

2006-06-20T06:54:00.000-07:00

Why have I not used Henry Blanco earlier? I can have him play first or second when Barrett gets back from being a bad boy. We almost choked in the last inning, but we had such a lead I knew that even the Cubs could not blow it.
I like these Indians:

Henry is also known as Hank White.

ARMS

2006-06-16T06:46:00.000-07:00

When did ball players forget how to throw a ball, it's a simple thing to do, just rear back and throw. What don't they get? No point trying to teach them how to throw a ball, if they don't know already, then it's to late.

This little Russian girl can throw better then most Cubs.

What don't they get about this?

This is how far a Cub outfielder can throw and still miss the cutoff man.

I'm going to leave this in the bullpen, maybe they can take a hint. It's not my job to show them how to play.

The kids are alright

2006-06-12T06:12:00.000-07:00

We can't be that bad, we won three out of four from the first place team, not bad. Our youngins are doing OK, but I like the Neifi Homerun, he can do it all baby. Now we are only ten games under the magic 500 point, com'on Tribune what are you waiting for, sign me up for another five years.

Run little Mr. Red, Run.

Damn I hate this town

2006-06-09T06:04:00.000-07:00

I hate this boring red neck town and now that the Reds are a better team then us, I hate it even more. What can I do, it's not the manager's fault that a team stinks. At least the Tribune has it's own problems and are not thinking about there little baseball team.
Rumors around the clubhouse is that Pujols is using the juice. I don't know about that, because I never saw Bonds take them and I know the Mr. Kitty never saw his players take them, Conseco, McGuire and Pujols? His so call injury is to keep him away from the recent steroids arrests.

It's going to be a very long weekend.

I feel good

2006-06-06T08:16:00.000-07:00

I think things will turn around for the Cubs this month, let's just forget last month and keep winning 2 out of 3. The Astros look like a different team to me, not the same team that lost to the Sox in the WS. The killer bees are dead, someone sprayed Raid on them.

I wonder if this guy was ever a killer bee?

That is one bitch'n truck, but I only drive Chevy's because they pay me to.

I'm off to go fishing with Jimmy Houston in Houston, I should be back before the game starts.

Peace out.

Fishes

2006-05-25T06:11:00.000-07:00

Damn those Marlins are playing good baseball. They got to be one of the better teams in the league. I wish I could have a team like that, I could take the WS. Now we will face another great team with Atlanta, I can only hope that we can win one of those games. My goal this year to to be above .250 winning percentage, which I really feel that we can achieve. Hey Tribune, where is my contract extension, you would really feel bad if you lose the great Johnnie B to the Mariners.
I'm spending an extra day down here in Miami to go fishing in the keys, you know Ted Williams move down here just for the fishing, fishing paradise. Yeah man.

Woody and Neifi

2006-05-19T08:40:00.000-07:00

I knew Woody was not going to last long today, but I was wish he didn't give up those HR with the wind blowing in. He has some work to do with his location, I think we may get about ten games out of him this year. That will give us some time to get Prior to pitch his ten games.
People ask me about that bunt Neifi did to end the game. No I did not tell him to bunt, this was all Neifi. He is a genius. He saw the third baseman playing back, like they do when there is two outs in the ninth inning, and he thought he could lay one down the third base side. With his speed and super ASS power, he could make it to first before the throw. To bad his location was not as good as his brain. I can't blame him for trying. He would do anything to win for us. Don't mess with super sub.
I think they should give him the Chevy player of the game. Can't wait to see what he has in mind for the SOX. When Neifi stops playing, I will make him a coach to replace Dickie. Dickie is my token white coach, but sometimes you just have to go with the best and forget about political correctness. Am I right, man, you damn right I am.

Stink

2006-05-15T08:53:00.000-07:00

What can I do, I have meetings and meetings, but it's all up the players to get the fire in their bellies to win. They don't have it. If we lose three in a row to the Nats, then I will be fired. Good thing is that Seattle might be looking for a manager soon, closer to my home.

One in a row

2006-05-11T07:43:00.000-07:00

All right Tribune, I'm on a winning streak. To extend my contract, please call my agent, Johnnie B. Baker he is waiting for the call. Yeah, just forget that little 8 game losing streak. Right.

Seven

2006-05-10T09:41:00.000-07:00

Yikes, it's up to 7 now.

DAMN IT to Hell

2006-05-08T11:24:00.000-07:00

If we keep this level of play, I be looking for a new job. Well, thinking about it, that won't be to bad, take the year off on the Tribune dime. Six in a row ain't bad, but once we get into the teens, then I should worry. That's Cal Ripken Sr. area, he lost his job after 20 in a row.

I might rank up there with Ted Turner, Whitey Lockman, Jim Marshal, Lee Ellia, Don Kessinger, and Jim Riggleman as some of the best who managed a team.

Snake Bite

2006-05-04T06:51:00.000-07:00

Maddux has a 1-9 lifetime record against the snakes, why? He grew up in Nevada, he should like the desert. We only scored one run might have something to do with losing. I think we will get no hitter tossed against us this year. At least I'll be back in my home state this week. I love those California girls.

Neifi doesn't think CA girls are hot, he still likes his Dominican Girls.

Everyone has there own thing, you know what I mean. Dickie like some strange ones.

Lets get out of this town and head for San Diego.

Lefty Pitchers

2006-05-03T06:55:00.000-07:00

Lost again to another left handed pitcher, damn why can't we hit those southpaws? I will have Rusch pitch batting practice to get every use to a lefty, but that would be to easy, everyone can hit Ruschy. Look at the bright side, we are still above 500. I think it's time to raid the Pirates for some good playas.

No sweep with that crap

2006-04-27T07:31:00.000-07:00

Did you guys see the same crap game I saw, damn that was crap. Dickie Pole can't crap something that smelly and long. Stupid Mayberry, RFD can't catch a simple pop up, no wonder Mr sunglass wearing kitty lover didn't keep him on the Cards. I think Andy Taylor could catch that ball or even Matlock, I know that Barney Fife would of caught it.

Nothing I can do now, it's over. Dickie and I will head out on the town tonight, Neifi will do the driving.

Who's on First?

2006-04-21T09:38:00.000-07:00

We continue to lose playas to the mighty DL list, this is not new. A good team always finds a way to work around injuries, but this is the north side. Here is my plan, Neifi will be the regular second baseman and Todd, Mayberry, Jerry will watch the first base bag. Maybe I will try Neifi at first when I get tired of watching Todd talking with everyone who is standing on the bag. I would like to bring up another pitcher to replace Lee, we need pitching. Kerry are you ready yet?

I look around the new ball park in St. Louis yesterday and I can say that the old one was better then this one. This one looks like Philly, but more red and larger. Where the hell is the Clydesdales at... man. I knew a guy name Clyde, he use to do the laundry in Atlanta and kept a bottle of Ol Grandad tucked away in the trainers room. He liked to give Tommy Aaron used towel's as an joke because Tommy was only there because of his brother Hank. I think I will start to call my son Clyde because that is such a cool name, almost as cool as Niefi.
See you all at the game tonight, I'll be drinking free Budweiser.

Good Win

2006-04-20T06:37:00.000-07:00

We won thanks to great base running by Neifi, damn he is still fast as lightning. He got his Ass Power back to full speed.

To bad Lee was injured last night, he should try to stay away from the base paths. I think Neifi can play first, so I am not that concern about it.
In St. Louis on a off day, what to do? Drink Bud all day.

Cy Maddux

2006-04-18T07:11:00.000-07:00

To start the year with 3 - 0 record means that Cy Maddux is back to his old form, not bad for someone over 40. He is the first Cub pitcher to start a game over 40 years old since 1983 when Fergie did it. If I had my way, all the Cubs pitchers would be over 40. Maybe I can bring back Tommy John, Bob Gibson and Bob Feller.

That Cy Young was a fat ass. Maybe Dick Pole can still pitch.

Home to LA

2006-04-17T08:25:00.000-07:00

Didn't sweep the Pirates, should of. On to LA tonight, the place that brought me fame and glory as an member of the famous Dodger teams in the late 70's. I can manage better then Tommy LaSorda, got a better record. I can not eat as much has him, but come close.

At least I've never been a fool in public.

So the Dodgers are playing like crap this year, so we should have no problems sweeping them.

Rusch Hour

2006-04-12T06:50:00.000-07:00

I gotta keep Rusch away from the buffet in the clubhouse, he eats more then anyone on the team. I think his belly is getting in the way of his pitching arm. But what do you want from an ex-Met. How can he give up two HR to an American League pitcher?

It's not a good day to try to get my contract extended. I'll wait for another winning streak.
We got Maddux going today, so he will be good for maybe 6 innings. I'll get Neifi in the game today, he is practicing pitching, in case I need him. Did you know that this Cub team is the youngest since 1977? Thats right, I can handle the youngsters.

Time for a contract extension

2006-04-10T07:19:00.000-07:00

We sweep the Red Birds and Mr. Kitty this weekend, I'm a genus. Now that Jim Hendry has his contract for the next couple of years, it's time to take care of Johnnie B. I have a great agent that handles all of my contracts. ME! I don't need no stinking lawyer to handle it and for me to give him 15 - 20 per cent of my earnings. I need all the money that I can get to take care of the IRS.

What, is this Tony trying out new Cardinals uniforms maybe it's one of his Kitty balls that he holds.

Day off today, I'll be heading out with Dick tonight.

Off we go

2006-04-04T10:41:00.000-07:00

The season has started and I am stuck in Cincinnati on a off day. That pisses me off, I wish we were still in Vegas baby. If they ever get a team in Vegas, then I want to be the skipper with Dick.
Got to meet with the prez before the game yesterday. Betcha didn't know that I am a Bush man, no not that Bush but the Prez. I'm one of the few brothers who voted for him. I like guns and so does W.

He is shorter then I thought he was, I introduced him to Neifi, but kept Dick Pole in the trainers room because he was not wearing pants. I gave him a autograph toothpick for the game, but he did not stay to watch the full 9 innings.
Damn I hate this town, I wish we have less games here. The beer of choice here is Sam Adams, since they brew it here.

Springtime for pitchers

2006-03-15T11:34:00.000-08:00

The Cubs release the news that we knew here from day one, Prior is hurt again. Yea, so Stoney was right again, I still don't like that guy. Every spring Prior & Wood are sore/injured, at least we have Carlos and Maddux. That's right we were shopping Prior around this winter for trade bait, no team took, even the Orioles. We like to send all our washed up players to Baltimore, Todd you listening. I wonder if Neifi can pitch?

Cry Baby

STEROIDS

2006-03-10T06:03:00.000-08:00

I did not see any steroids in the Giants locker room when I was there. I just thought that my guys were just pumping up at the gym to get those muscles. Barry is just a nice man, I don't believe he would take them. Yea I did see his drug dealer buddies in the locker room, but I though they were passing out vitamins and candy, they didn't hand out any Colt 45 so I just ignored it.
After all, I am a players manager.

You don't think these idiots knew about this?

Pix of the day

2006-02-16T09:06:00.000-08:00

Poor Sammy, he can't find a team willing to pay him the big bucks anymore. I hope his bride will stay with him and not take his money and run. Sammy said that he is thinking of getting into the insurance business. Monumental Life is a fine carrier choice, base in Baltimore with offices in the Chicago area.

Pix of the day

2006-02-14T10:12:00.000-08:00

1971 a good year for Cub Managers and former Sox thrown in.

Drop a line

2006-02-13T13:42:00.000-08:00

I know it's been awhile, but I've been hunting and fishing. Pitchers will start next week, so I'm heading for AZ with Dick. I have not been writing much because of the rude reception I received during the Cubs convention in Chicago, you guys don't like ol' Johnnie B much, no not that radio guy from Wisconsin. ME, you don't trusty Dusty any more. Don't worry, I'll get those Tribune cheap asses to sign me up another couple of years, since the Dodgers didn't want me.
Adam Greenberg has not been the same since he got hit in the head and went crying home to mommy, you won't see him on my bench this year. I don't like cry babies. Murton is my main man in Left field, but if he goes into one slump, off to Cleveland with him, just like the loser Jason. Jose is still thinking it over, he does like Sushi.
Well that's it for today, see ya next week.

We got a right fielder, bye bye Corey

2005-12-21T07:30:00.000-08:00

Jim went out and got Jack Jones the singer to play right, I think I could of played better them him. At least we got a left hander who can run fast, his batting has been going down the last two years but maybe he can handle the bat using the Dusty method.

or maybe this guy....

I know a team in Boston that needs a center fielder, now that Jesus sign with the Yanks. We can get Matt Clement back for Correy Patterson because I know Kerry Wood will not be able to pitch again this year.

Who's in right?

2005-12-12T12:40:00.000-08:00

Now that we got this guy...
we can try to find someone for the right side, but I can't think of anyone, maybe this guy...
but I can't deal with him anymore. Maybe someone with great experience. A former MVP, someone who knows that game as well as I, like this guy....

Damn he's good looking and he can play, even today. I wonder if the Tribune would pay me two salaries? If we can't find anyone else, I better start getting into playing shape. I'll just limit myself to two 40's of Colt 45.

Lost Furcal

2005-12-05T12:56:00.000-08:00

Looks like Furcal is going to LA LA LAnd, that's OK with me - We got Neifi.
We just need a lead off Center fielder and a power right fielder. Kenny Lofton, Dusty is calling please pick up.

Turkey

2005-11-25T06:29:00.000-08:00

Hunted my own thanksgiving Turkey, used my 16 gauge shotgun and took his head right off. Nothing better then wild turkey, both food and drink.

We sign two middle relief pitchers, now our starters will not have to worry about blowing their lead when I take them out. All we need not is a Center and Right Fielder, maybe a shortstop. Naw, take that back, we got the great Neifi at short. We just need a backup to Neifi. I want my centerfielder to be my lead off man, fast and black. The Blacks make the best lead off men, Kenny Lolfton would be good, just the right age. We can always get Ricky Henderson from the Indi leagues. Damn, my pants are to tight, going to have to wear my extra large sweat pants for the next couple of days. I got one of the few black bear hunting permits from the state of Maryland, going head over there for some good hunting, I hope they won't stop my with my guns in the back of my Chevy pickup.

See ya in a couple of weeks or if we land a good trade.

Got our Man

2005-11-08T06:49:00.000-08:00

Today the Cubs will announce the signing of the player that will have the biggest impact on our team for years to come. A player who can play almost any position and bat from both sides of the plate. He can steal, bunt and turn a mean double play. It is my pleasure to announce that the Cubs have sign the one time golden glove award winner Niefi Perez to a long term contract.

Congrads to Niefi, now back to fishing I go.

Gone Fishing

2005-10-27T07:02:00.000-07:00

Dusty went fishing man, this is Neifi Perez pinch hitting for Dusty.
Dusty says he don't care about the stinking White Sox or any other team that he is not the manager of. He don't watch no stinking world series man.
I watch last night's game, at least the beginning where they were honoring the great Latin players, all I got to say is that why they did not invite ME? I am Latin, from Villa Mella, Dominican Republic, right next door to Sammy and Moises. All three of us should of been there, what idiots.
Why did the Cubs beat the White Sox this year and the Ass-tros could not? They needed more Latin players on their time instead of those stupid B names.
Dusty says that we will do good this year, with me just coming into the right age to play ball.

Here is my Biography from the Cubs web site:
Neifi signed with the Cubs as a minor league free agent after spending the first half of the season with the San Francisco Giants...the Gold Glover has seen major league action in every season since 1996 with Colorado (1996-2001), Kansas City (2001-2002) and San Francisco (2003)...has a career .979 fielding percentage and has seen action at second base, third base, shortstop and catcher...was awarded a Rawlings Gold Glove in 2000...played for the Dominican Republic's Junior National Basketball team...signed with the Colorado Rockies as a non-drafted free agent just prior to the Rockies' expansion draft.
How they find out that I played basketball, that was before I got my big fat ass.

Here is what they said about my playing this year:
Perez was expected to be a backup but was pressed into a starting role when Garciaparra was injured. Perez played in the most games since 2000. His biggest hit was a game-winning grand slam with two out in the 10th inning July 24 at St. Louis. He hit .281 at Wrigley Field.

Oh yea, we beat the Cardinals little red asses this year. Did you know that I won the Golden Glove award in 2000? I use that as my toilet paper holder in the bathroom.

Dusty says he will be back in a couple of weeks to work out some trades to get rid of our young players. Bye Bye Murton. ha ha ha.

Well so long, I've got to rub my butt with some lotion, it's getting kind of dry.

Just got back from fishing

2005-10-17T06:44:00.000-07:00

I saw the last inning of the White Sox game last night. They are on a lucky roll, everything is going their way. Maybe this will keep the Cub fans off my back this year, want do you want back to back world series in this town?

Try to read this book Sox fans.

These guys like big bats.

They should wear this uniform for the opening game:

Joe checks out his bat again, I don't know about the one between his legs.

The last great sox team.

Good luck to you and wish me good luck for my next fishing trip.

What?

2005-10-13T08:58:00.000-07:00

Are they still playing baseball?
I'm fishing and hunting and drinking and women carousing and camping and drinking and having fun.

LA

2005-10-04T06:18:00.000-07:00

LA needs a manager, I wonder who they want to manage them next year?
GO GO SOX.

Good luck White Sox

2005-09-30T06:25:00.000-07:00

You will need it to beat the Angles.

Here is a hell of an idea from Sox history:

1976
» The Chicago White Sox try a different approach against California, using a lineup in numerical order by field position. As noted by historian Greg Beeson, the batting order is: Brian Downing -- 2: Lamar Johnson -- 3: Bill Stein -- 4: Kevin Bell -- 5: Bucky Dent -- 6: Alan Bannister -- 7: Chet Lemon -- 8: Jerry Hairston -- 9. Finishing off the lineup is 53-year-old DH Minnie Minoso. The Angels are unimpressed, winning, 7–3.

Maybe I'll try this on Sunday.

Fitting end at home

2005-09-29T07:03:00.000-07:00

We didn't play well at Wrigley Field this year, maybe the place is jinx. Bases loaded no outs and we don't score a run. Come on, odds are that at least one run scores. This place sucks. We need to tear it down and make a nice stadium like US Cell. Adding seats over the street in the bleachers will not help, just line the pockets of the Tribune execs.

Temporary bleachers on Waveland during the World Series in 1929, yea the Cubs lost to the A's.
This is how it will look next year, maybe they will get rid of those stupid baskets on the walls that opposing teams like to hit cheap HR.

Just blow it up and build a dome.

This is how they use to do it, just sit on the outfield grass behind a rope.
Found these pictures in my desk, must of been there since the 30's.

Nice try

2005-09-28T06:58:00.000-07:00

I'll give Maddux credit for trying last night, a complete game but on the loosing side. He was attempting to keep his streak of winning 15 games or more for over 16 seasons, not going to happen now. Welcome back to the Cubs, you are not an Atlanta Brave, who won the division last night for the 14th consecutive title. Wait 'til next year.

One week to go

2005-09-26T07:29:00.000-07:00

Only one more week until the end of the year and I can return to California. We won yesterday and we have today off, what more do I need. Question is will I return? Don't know yet, I'll sit and wait for the offers to come in. I got to get out of this curse city. The Cubs will never be in the world series, much less win one. There I said it. What are you going to do about it Tribune?
Love, Johnnie B.

So much for 500

2005-09-21T08:21:00.000-07:00

Looks like we won't make my goal of 500 and above, we can't score a run with the bases loaded and no outs. Why don't we just give up and go home. Even the great Neifi can't save this team Oh yea, that Murton kid is doing OK, but he has not been tested in the heat of battle yet, I'll see if we can trade him for a strong veteran.

I want to hunt, fish, drink, you know, man stuff.

I won this award before.

This is what Barry bonds looked like a couple of years ago.
I'll let Dick manage tonight, I'll be there but he will be making the calls.

It's a wrap

2005-09-20T06:38:00.000-07:00

Let's wrap it up, get this over with, end it and start fishing.

I guess the only goal I can have at this point to stay above 500 and higher in the standings then Milwaukee. We should see how we do with this three game series with the beers. I'm looking forward to going home to California and start my winter outdoor program. Think I'll bring Neifi home with me. Maybe we can make a instruction video for little leaguers.

I wish the best of luck to our south side brothers, no I really mean it. Go Sox.

Wait till next year.

We won!

2005-09-14T09:14:00.000-07:00

The Reds have on of the worst pitching staff in the Majors, but they all look like Nolan Ryan to the Cubs. I don' get it....but at least they one last night, thanks to my man Neifi.
Ladies please control yourself with the below picture, he is the man.

To bad they didn't get the rear end shot.

Yea, I know that red headed Murton got some good at bats, but I'll play him regularly after he reaches the age of 30. OK, so get of my back. Rookies are SCUMBAGS.

MVP

2005-09-12T06:43:00.000-07:00

Neifi is the MVP of major league baseball, make no mistake about that brothers.

We kick ass on my old team. Murton hit a HR but that's was not the big hit, I had to take him out for defensive replacement, he's as bad as Jason DeBois. I rewarded Neifi with one of my 40 once colt 45's.

We are still in this race, don't give up we got Neifi.

Why?

2005-09-08T07:35:00.000-07:00

Why do we beat the best team in baseball but lose to the crap teams? I think Neifi should win the MVP this year, we would be in last place behind the Pirates if not for his outstanding performance this year. I think the Cubs should sign him to a very long contract. He is my right hand man, sorry Dick but you are just sitting on your ass but I do enjoy your entertainment at night.
We will get above 500 by October.
If you have notice that my postings are getting fewer as the season winds down, I've been busy setting up my off season activities. I am in the middle of building a new house in Sacramento and will be checking it out today since we are in San Francisco this weekend. Chicago will never be my home, I'm a California boy and voted for Arnold. I will ask Neifi to join me this winter for some fun, he can have one of my bedroom suites in my new house. No winter ball for that man.
See you all tonight at PacBell park or SBC park.

Rid of the old

2005-08-30T08:00:00.000-07:00

Bye Bye Todd, I'll miss you. Good luck in Atlanta, Bobby Cox likes his young players.
Here is a web site that has two of my favorites, Billy Dee Williams and Colt 45.
http://bfcgroup.com/helluvatough/moremalt.htm
I enjoy the pictures on this site.

Got nothing to say about last night game except, just catch the god damn ball.

Bring on the youngsters

2005-08-29T12:05:00.000-07:00

I have been told by management to start playing the younger play'as. So the Tribune Company is giving up on old Dusty and his team of wheel chair players. If this is what they want, they will get it. I will do my best to keep this team below 500. Maybe they will fire my ass and let me go hunting every day. I will not loose any sleep at night, because the ladies love me.
The Cellar you get.

and who the hell is Dan Crall, goofy looking bastard.

He's no friend of Dusty.

He is not a ladies man like Billy Dee Williams.

Billy is looking good. When they make the Dusty Baker movie, I want him to play me. They better hurry up, Billie is not getting any younger drinking the Colt 45.
Here is my favorite picture of Billy D.

I used his advise for years and it does work every time.
See you all tonight at the ball game. Peace out Baby.

Dog days

2005-08-24T06:54:00.000-07:00

Were in the dog days of the season, I know this team will not win this year, but I have to remain positive in front of the cameras. Lies, I lie. We won a very impressive game last night with good pitching and even better hitting, but we will turn around and completely suck in the next two games. That's how it's been all year. I'm just sitting back and letting Neifi run the team.

Let's end this season soon.

Hey, not so bad after all

2005-08-18T09:04:00.000-07:00

How did we win 2 of 3 from the Astros? We can't make a double-play and our outfielders can not throw over 100 feet. Luck we have Carlos and Maddox or we would ended up with nothing. Day off today and we are in Denver. I like Denver, lots of fishing and hunting nearby and lots of women. I would not like to manage here, to hard to keep your pitchers morale up.

Had some fun last night with this ladies, but I think the one on the left is a man.

My barmaid for the evening. More fun tonight.

Nothing to say

2005-08-16T10:14:00.000-07:00

What can I say?
I went here last night to forget my troubles. I did bump into Nolan Ryan there also.
We talked about hunting dogs.

That help me get over last night's game and the Colt 45 40 ounces help also.

Rain Baby Rain

2005-08-11T12:23:00.000-07:00

I hope today's game gets rained out so I don't have to look at this stinking team any longer. Here I sit in my office off the clubhouse waiting for Tommy Skilling to give me the word. I don't have any answers for this skid and I don't care if they fire me. I would be happy to sit out a year and pull in my 4 million tribune dollars.

The two great weathermen in Chicago, Tommy Skilling and Harry Volkman.

Call it a year

2005-08-08T06:20:00.000-07:00

Hey fans, anyone knows of a team that needs a leader? I think I will be available soon. My current team has left me hanging out with my head on the block. I prefer a city were the fans don't really care that much about baseball and the press just take what I say without any hard questions. Close to hunting and fishing would be a plus. I would also like a city were the women are loose and the colt 45 is on every corner. I'll bring my own coaching staff with me. Just email me the offers, I'll take a pay cut from 4 million a year.

Fundamentals

2005-08-04T08:10:00.000-07:00

Last night the team totally forgot the fundamentals of baseball, which has been drilled into them since little league. Pitchers covering first base, run downs, simple stuff. It cost us the game. That really pisses me off. The next day off I am going to hold a long practice to go over all the little things that needs to be done for a winning ballclub. But hey, it's the Cubs stuff like that always happens to this jinx team. Lovable losers, idiots.
Maybe they should watch my video.

Of course this is about hitting and not fielding, guess I'll have to make a new video with me in a Dodgers uniform.

Dodger

2005-08-01T06:36:00.000-07:00

It is not true that the Dodgers want me to be their manager next year, I still have one more year left to my contract with the Cubs. Why would I want to manage my old team, where I grew up and became one of their best players in the late 70's - early 80's. I want to stay with the Cubs, a 500 ballclub that will never win. I love Chicago fans and press. I love being second guess in every decision that I make. I love being able to drive out to the mountains in Illinois to hunt and fish. I love the cold weather in the spring. I love the Tribune execs, cheap bastards. I really want to stay here in Chicago. Really I do, I mean it, I do.

Rookies

2005-07-29T06:28:00.000-07:00

See what I get when I play three rookies, a lost. I should not listen to you fans about playing young playas. Today I'll go back to my trusted vets.

I wish you fans would stop booing everyone, it looks bad. Why can't you be laid back like the fans in California. Show up in the third inning and leave in the 7th. I love it when they put "Make some noise" up on the scoreboard to tell fans when to cheer, they never put up "let's make some boos".

OK.

How can players play in that kind of conditions? The can't read the Wall Street Journal with all that racket going on, their portfolio may go down. So show some respect people.

Late game wins

2005-07-28T08:02:00.000-07:00

I like the late come from behind wins, means the club will not give up. Burnitz came through again, he is going to be a fine player once he gets some more years on him, he is not up to Neifi territory yet.
I've been hearing complaints about me not playing the young rookies. All I can say to that is to look what happen when I played DuBois. He failed and is not longer a Cub. I don't want that to happen to Murton. I know he can hit, run and catch but damn it, he is only 22 years old. I like Hollandsworth, he is just getting into his prime, so what he went 0 for three and is not batting very while, I still like him.

I got toothpicks older them him.

Young Todd, I would not play him then.

Todd today, almost prime.
Let's bring on those Rockies and kick some young butt.

Neifi Granny

2005-07-25T06:55:00.000-07:00

Now you know why I like crafty veterans. Neifi's Grand Slam win over Cards, suck on that LaRussa you cat loving, sun glasses wearing old goat.

Neifi likes the kids.

Down in the dumps

2005-07-22T09:00:00.000-07:00

Well all it takes for me to get down is to lose two games to the Reds and lose the last one after we were ahead most of the game. Again as I stated all year, it looks like we are just a 500 average team. I just hope we don't embarr-ass ourselves in St. Louie. I hate to lose to that pig LaRussa.

St. Louis Pigs

On fire

2005-07-20T09:59:00.000-07:00

We are on fire........
Won 8 out of the last 9, three in a row.
I like this winning, to bad we are so far out and almost impossible to make up ground. We play the Cardinals next, if we can win 2 out of 3 then I would think that we have a chance.

Another win

2005-07-19T07:04:00.000-07:00

We have been playing good ball since Patterson and DuBois have left the team. We should sweep the Reds this series in that homer box they call Great American. I pitty the Reds pitcher having to pitch there.
We just traded Jason DuBois to the Indians, he would be a good DH just don't let him put his glove on. We got 26 year old Jody Gerut, left handed outfielder, to bad he is not 36 I might play him then.

As a rookie with the Indians in 2003, Gerut hit .279 in 127 games with 22 homers and 75 RBI. He dropped off last year to a .252 average with 11 homers and 51 RBI.
Gerut has played in 44 games this season and is hitting .275 with 11 extra-base hits and 12 RBI. He is batting .313 against right-handed pitching. (Chicago Sun-Times)

Another player to sit on the bench.
Damn I hate this stinking pig town, can't wait to leave.

Make it Five

2005-07-15T06:39:00.000-07:00

I want to see a 10 game winning streak, that would get us going in the right direction again. When Prior pitches like yesterday, it's hard to not to win. Everyone had a nice three day break, except for Lee and Aramis. I heard that Corey Patterson discovered a flaw in his swing in Iowa. He said that his swing is to long, what the hell did he think Gene Clines and the Sarge were telling him the last couple of months and he just starting to listen a little to late. A big hug for Henry Blanco for yesterday's action, he is just starting to reach his prime, he should be really good when he reaches 40 years old.

Beer of the day:

Damn, that Billy Dee is a ladies man, my hero. I gots to grow my pencil thin mustache back, the ladies love it.
Got to go and get ready for the game, where are my wrist bands at.

Break in the Action

2005-07-12T06:46:00.000-07:00

I like it when I am not involved with the all star game, I can go fishing for three days and forget about baseball. I'm up in the UP of Michigan, yes the same state as the all star game on the north side. I am happy that the Cubs sweep the Marlins, but wish we could of kept going without a break. Getting rid of Patterson seems to get this team going, especially at lead off. Hairston is doing good, but I would like to see an veteran player in that position, say maybe Lou Brock or Murray Wills.

When I'm here this is what I drink.

It's over

2005-07-08T14:54:00.000-07:00

This season is over, just sit back and enjoy the errors.
Sent Patterson and DuBois back to Iowa and brought up a couple of outfielders from AA TN.
Expect more changes in the next two weeks.
That's all I'm going to say, right.
Gotta go, in Miami.

Four

2005-06-30T07:03:00.000-07:00

Let's keep going....... 5.

It's good to get all my pitchers back. Now let us win every game in the month of July. Watch out LaRussia, here we come.

So long Pollock Joe, you had one good year, take the money and run.

I don't think that I really want Preston Wilson from the Rockies, he strikes out more than Patterson does. I want a lead off hitter not a strike out king. Besides, don't want to see his father Mookie around here.

Dick made history today in 1975, he got hit in the face by a line drive.

"Baltimore C Dave Duncan ties the major-league record with four consecutive doubles during an 8-2 win over first-place Boston. Compounding the loss, Boston P Dick Pole suffers a broken cheek when he is hit by a line drive off the bat of 1B Tony Muser." Link

Prior thought he had it bad. All three people mention above became coaches.

Three in a row

2005-06-29T07:46:00.001-07:00

Let's roll baby, roll.
Z did a good job last night, he is starting to learn that not every pitch has to be 100mph to get batters out.
Woody is up today, let's see if he can last at least six innings.

This could be his last year as a Cub if he does not start to win more.

Three in a row

2005-06-29T07:46:00.000-07:00

Better then I thought

2005-06-27T07:09:00.000-07:00

Prior pitch much better then I gave him credit for, so winning two out of three from the best team in baseball is pretty good and I'll take it. Now let's see of we can beat those pain in the ass Brewers.
It looks like we are going to get our starting pitchers back and move some of our backup starters into the middle relief positions. If we can stay healthy we can do some damage.
Here is his elbow xray:

You got to wear some arm bands like I do.

No game today, so it will be party time tonight.

Dusty is not happy

2005-06-24T07:03:00.000-07:00

I'm not happy with the level of play that the Chicago National League Ballclub have performing. We will be a 500 average team unless we get some relief pitchers. We also need a center field lead off man who's name is not Corey or Jerry.
So fans expect some old fashion Cubs games, but don't expect to see a winning team. OK.
We will win on Saturday, but probably choke today and Sunday, so SOX fans enjoy the series at that crappy stadium on the south side.

Come on Sox fans, which would you like to see a game in:

They do have good urinals at the new stadium:

They did try to fix the nose bleed seats:

and they do have the best fans:

Time to drive to the south side, I hope the Sox fans will leave my truck alone.

9.5 out

2005-06-20T07:06:00.000-07:00

Well the Damn Yankees sweep put us 9.5 games out of first place and it's only June19. We have a lot of ground to make up now but the way we are playing it may be time to backup the truck and dump some players. We need a SS, second baseman and a center fielder, maybe a left fielder. At least we will not let down our fans in September this year, June is good.

Yes we did, thank you White Sox fans.

This guy was not that bad.

Carlos after the game.

Mr. Glass:

He likes his big SUV and gold chains.

check out my new wheels. Thanks Chevy.

I'm at home now, will drive up to Milwaukee in a couple of hours.
Let's see how long our losing streak will go.

I thought this would happen

2005-06-16T08:43:00.000-07:00

Getting 14 runs the game before and Marlins getting 15 runs yesterday, I thought something like that would happen. No pitching yesterday. Let's wash our hands and try to start again in NY.

Did this ever happen, I don't know.

Bring them on.

We should win two out of three here.

Pony Pitcher

2005-06-15T07:34:00.000-07:00

Sergio pitched a great game last night. He is not one of our horses, he is still a pony but will be a horse one day. You know. He will be my motivator for the other pitchers to be on top of their game because they can be replaced.
Here is Sergio wearing his warm up jacket.

and here is Maddux talking to Sergio:

This is a pitcher that my son did for Sergio:

One day he will be a proud horse:

I hope we have some runs saved up for today's game. Time to make out the line up, should I keep Patterson batting second?

Bean Eaters

2005-06-13T07:22:00.000-07:00

Well, I am slightly disappointed that we did not win 3 out of 3 from the bloody sox. We just could not hit that damn knuckleball. I blame it on ESPN for making us play on Sunday night, that made the players goof off in the day, playing Golf, drinking, and women. I hope not the lose the next two night games or I give these guys a knuckle sandwich.

This is what Wakefield's knuckles look like.

This is how you throw one:

This is the famous White Sox knuckle Baller:

Let's see if we can come back tonight.

Big Series

2005-06-10T07:35:00.000-07:00

Playing the Red Sox is a big deal here in Chicago, as big as the White Sox. Those whinny Red Sox fans complaining about not winning the WS is pathetic. They have been the WS many times and won last year, big deal. The Cubs have not been the WS since 1945 before I was born. I use to hear the Giant fans also complaining, but they soon forgot about it and went back to typing on their wireless laptops. We will be the game of the week on Fox and ESPN this weekend. It looks like neither of these teams will be in the WS this year, but you never know.

Babe

Billy Buck

Bartman

Hell, if you BELIEVE

To bad Clement is not pitching we all know how he likes the hot weather.

You know who this guy is?

He use to look like this:

That's right, he was the first baseman after Buckner and before Grace. He also let a ball roll under his legs in the 84 playoffs with the Padres that cost the Cubs the game and the trip to the WS and he was wearing the great number 10 on his back. He started the Goatee look.

Let's see who will be the goat today, Corey?
Peace out baby.

We beat the best team in Baseball

2005-06-09T08:07:00.000-07:00

That's right we are bad err.... GOOD we beat the greatest team in Canada. Being part of the NAFTA conference an American team (Cubs) beat the Canadian team (Blow Jays) with a Mexican from San Diego (Mitre). How's that George H. Bush.

Which Mitre photo looks better?

or

He's a sexy man, maybe we should take him out tonight and have some fun.

I'm going to stay with the NAFTA theme with eating all NAFTA food today!

Breakfast:

Lunch:

Dinner:

Drinks:

No game tonight, see you all out on the town.

Toronto is the best team in the world

2005-06-08T07:44:00.000-07:00

I think the Blue Jays will go on to win the world series this year, they play like champions. We don't have a chance against them and might as well forfeit today's game. The Canadian way of baseball is above all others, better then US, Japan, Korea and Italy. Maybe they need a new manager, I'll volunteer for that assignment, good hunting and fishing up in the great white north.
How about another road trip to California? Yea, that's what we need.

We can't win over the power of the mighty Maple Leaf.

Look at their massive bats they have up their, no wonder why they hot out pitching

They also have rather big heads:

They also have their share of good looking ladies:

They also do this sport well:

They also have some great beer"

and don't mess with these guys, ah.

So we are not even going to try to win today.

Night Games

2005-06-07T06:30:00.000-07:00

I don't like night games here, I don't know why but we don't win as many at night. Maybe it's the lights, I don't know. We should stay with day games because we will have advantage over other teams that are used to night games. Right now I'm California dreaming..... Damn that was a good road trip. I'm a Californian.
This is why they don't have good baseball fans in California:

So we are back and we lost our first game on this home stay. Let's hope this is not a trend.
See ya tonight.

NOoooooo

2005-06-04T12:58:00.000-07:00

Damn it!

Let's start it all over again.

Seven

2005-06-03T09:46:00.000-07:00

Yea......
7777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777
7777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777

Watch out LaRussa, here we come.

SIX

2005-06-02T08:45:00.000-07:00

My Mac is still screwing up, maybe I should get a Dell.

MVP: Derrek Lee

FIVE

2005-06-01T09:14:00.000-07:00

Damn having trouble with my Mac PowerBook.

Worst team in NL

2005-05-27T07:33:00.000-07:00

No, it's not the Cubs but the Rookies and they manage to beat our asses yesterday. Does this mean we are the worst team now? Maybe.
When the wind blows in, we have a hella time getting runs. We need a couple of jack rabbits to lead off.
No excuses, it was not that windy.

We need this guy for lead off hitter:

Well fans get use to it, this is going to be a long summer.

Maybe I'll catch a couple of White Sox games.

Stuck with three

2005-05-26T07:26:00.000-07:00

All we can do is three in a row:

Well that's not bad if we would win three and then loose one and then win three, that be OK.
Maddux pitch great last night, if he was with the Braves it would of been a win.
I wonder how that old drunk Bobby Cox always win, he must have very special magic fairy dust or maybe the Hooters girls.
To ease my pain, I had three of these.

Then these three:

Day game today, let's win three.

Streak at three

2005-05-25T08:04:00.000-07:00

We won three in a row, tied for the most games we have won in a row this season. Can we go four? Astros are playing down, once Roger Rocket was gone we had it (minute) made. We could go for 7 or 8 because the Rockies are also having trouble this year.
Our picture theme is 4 in a row:

That's it for today, see ya at the game.

Win Win

2005-05-24T07:17:00.000-07:00

Two wins in a row, going for our season high of three. Glad to see our starting pitchers lasting past the 7th inning, that means we have a chance to win the game. Still to cold to have night games on the north side, but you never know about the weather around here. We should get to 500 this week playing the Astros and Rockies, but then we go west and will suck.
Time to share some photos, here is my rookie card:

This is what I see after every game:

The trophy wife and kid:

I never miss an opportunity with the ladies, oh yea, I did her.

Look at the smile on her face, why do you think she is so happy?

In my prime years as a playa:

Well dats it for tday. Peace out, see ya at the game.

Lost weekend

2005-05-23T06:58:00.000-07:00

We should of won two of three, but again our bullpen let us down. The Astros are in town tonight, they are having a bad year also. They didn't make the deals needed in the off season so they are in the same boat. We should have an easy time beating them, but then again with our relieve staff you never know. Maybe they should change their name back to the 45's.

Since they like to change the design of uniforms every other year, how about this one:

I think Bagwell would look good in this.
Can't get much more ugly.

Instead of "Winning Ugly" they "Dress Ugly".

Maybe I can make Jason the next Ron Santo, if only he can get a gold glove.
Time to head out and hit some Fungos for DuBois.

We need to sweep 'em

2005-05-20T07:04:00.000-07:00

If we can do well against the Whitey Sox this weekend, we should be fine this season. If we are totally blown away, we are toast and might as well wait 'till next year. We always try to down play these inter-league city games, but they are very important for morale and fan support. We can show that we are a contender if we beat the best team in baseball. That's all there is to dat.
Let's face it Sox fans, our women are better looking.

Our players get more from the female fans then the sox will ever get.
Here is typical sox female fans:

The proper way to hold your beer at the Sox game.
To bad this guy is not around to enjoy these games.

The Sox would be better with him and the old ball park
and without this dude.

and the Cubs would be better without them.

Time to head out onto the field and Sprinkle my magic dust.
Peace Out.

We are on our way

2005-05-19T08:56:00.000-07:00

Two in a row. WOW. I think our record is three in a row this year. Bring on them pale hose, they are not that good, since all the teams they have playing against this year are sucky. We beat the hard hitting Pirates, come on, who is a better team. My old vet subs came through for us yesterday, why use rookies when you can get washed up old vets. Right Neifi, Jose and Todd.
Maybe some of these guys are still around, I would love them for my bench.

Why do the Sox retire their old players to a corn field in Iowa, hell I would keep these guys.
When I pass a field of corn, I always take a good look, you never know what will show up.

Look what I found. They know how to handle a good ear of corn.
Everyone likes corn.

Oh, sorry I got carried away because I like to hunt in corn fields. Anyway, lets kick some White Sox ass this weekend.
I'm going to get some cream corn for lunch.

Turning point?

2005-05-18T07:48:00.000-07:00

Maybe last night's game will be a turning point of the season. If the Yankees can win 10 in a row, then we can too, maybe. We need to have a win streak. Big time.
Derrek Lee is on fire:

Lucky I did not give him a night off.
I gave him my luck wrist band.

I had some peroggi's last night, not bad.

Gave me the Runs.
Went down to the hotel hot tub to soak but found it to crowded, I think that Dick is in there somewhere.

So I settle for a shower and a couple of Iron City beers.
Early game today, I'm in the clubhouse now.

Stink

2005-05-16T07:32:00.000-07:00

We are not even a 500 ball team, we are below average. We stink.
I'm not going to Blog until we win a game.

DC

2005-05-13T10:06:00.000-07:00

Made it to DC last night, landed at BWI and took the bus to the hotel. Damn these streets are screwed up here, they don't go straight. Makes it difficult to find some night life.
This is not my party.

Dick had me go to this club

I thought it was a Cubs fan club but it was a club for hairy guys, so we took off.

We went to a fancy restaurant and found these lovely ladies that were ready for us.

Dick really want to find this lady, but she is out of his league.

This one Dick thought would be a perfect match for him.

Maybe Sammy will come down tonight to visit with his old team, NOT.

Two in a row, we are streaking

2005-05-12T07:30:00.000-07:00

Lucky we were the home team because I don't think we would of won that one. Thanks for the April playa of the month.
Cold fans:

It was so cold that I swear I heard some kid yelling out about needing a casserole, what ever the hell that means. Maybe he wanted one on the Cubs food list.

That looks like something Dick would throw up after a night on the town.
We got tonight off and traveling to DC. Never been there, so I'll see what kind of action I can get.

Naked

2005-05-11T07:52:00.000-07:00

I feel naked without my pencil thin mustache. Makes my face look fat, but if that's what it takes for wins, I'll do it.

My barber.
Dick got his whole body shaved.

He looks like Aramis after the shave.

Last night is how you win games, get enough runs and good pitching, you win. Easy as that, I'm a genius. Maddux pitch great and the hitters went deep, what more do you need.
Lets win today and head east.

Forget my troubles and party

2005-05-05T07:06:00.000-07:00

Since my baseball team is going into the crapper, I decided to party in Milwaukee last night.
So Dick and I headed out into the cold Milwaukee night to find some hot drunken chicks.

Found these two lovely ladies in the first German dive we came to.

They continue to consume mass quantities of booze, but they were more into that then into Dick and I.

Hey, I think they are looking at us!

These two are keepers, we brought them back to my room.

We had a good night, maybe that will rub off onto the team today.
See ya at Miller Park, the roof should be open and balls flying over the fences.

It's only the first week of May

2005-05-04T07:43:00.000-07:00

I have a bad vibe about this season, our team will not be above 500. Did you know that a team that is 500 or below in April only has a 26% chance of being in the playoffs? That does not bode well for the Chicago National League ballclub and yours truly.
In my 18 years as a player, I've been on some bad teams. The Atlanta Braves in the early 70's before Ted Turner took them over. When I was on the dodgers an in my prime, we had excellent teams and that was great. But that Tommy LaSorda was a pain in my ass. Did you know that I had 242 career HR. with a .278 average. That is a little above average. I've been in World Series and even was the MVP for the 1977 MLCS. So I know a thing about being average and being above average. Since the White Sox are doing much better, maybe the press will pay attention to them instead of us. So fans just site back and enjoy this crappy average season.
So I will just enjoy some of Milwaukee finest beers:

Since I like Harleys and I like Beer, what else do I need.

I don't like this brand, but it's everwhere.

Ghetoman.

This is a man's beer.

Groucho approves this beer.